You remember David and Goliath right?
During this time there was another king named Saul who happens to feel threatened by David because God is on David’s side. I guess that would be as good a reason as any to feel threatened by someone. I once felt threatened by a guy because he had a better wave in his hair. Now look at me. Anyway, back to the story. Saul’s daughter, Michal (yes it’s a girl), fell in love with David and they wanted to get married. So Saul, not liking David gave him a rather daunting task that had to be completed in order to marry his daughter.
Saul replied, "Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” – I Samuel 18:25
I don't know why dried apricots popped into my mind.
This photo was taken when Saul told David to get the foreskins.
You want us to what?
Then we have the second, unmentioned, group of men in this story; The Philistine army that found their fallen comrades. Imagine the poor scouts that came across the 200 dead soldiers all missing their foreskins. “Hmmm, why are all the loincloths remov… oh the humanity! No, no, no, no, no, no, no…” I’m sure there was a point when one heard a woman screaming only to realize that the woman screaming was he. I’m sure after they emptied their stomach near the bodies they had to go back to the troops and notify the commander of what they had witnessed. That had to be a great moment trying to convince the leader that what they saw was real and not due to the hot desert sun baking their brain.
The permament expression of the scouting party.
What a horrible event to be a part of. Even to this day I think of how much King Saul must have really hated David to make him collect man parts from dead soldiers in order to let him marry his daughter. I know I had to collect fingernails from dead hobos around the greater Los Angeles area in order to marry my wife… but never man parts… that’s just gross.