Friday, August 20, 2010

Brain Dead

By the year AD 2578 we all will be brain dead. Let me explain.

A few points must be stated first in order to put this puzzle together. The first is that we must accept that the Bible is correct (II Timothy 3:16). For non-Christians, and sadly for some Christians, this may be a big one.  In doing so we can put together all the important events, dates and ages of people mentioned and come up with an actual year of Adam’s birth. Depending on who is doing the investigating most researchers come up with a date between 4000 BC and 4100 BC.

Of course you can always believe that the Bible is completely false... Good luck with that.
The second point is that man was created in God’s own image (Genesis 1:27). Adam, being the first man, was physically the most perfect man ever because after Adam and Eve sin entered the world.. He was created in perfect health and to quite possibly to never die (Romans 5:12)… he must have looked nothing like me I would imagine.  Adam was created before there were any diseases, birth defects, DNA mutations and a plethora of other illnesses that could degrade the human body. Adam and Eve were the only humans that were physically the exact way God designed humans.  This leads me to believe that Adam most likely was able to use entire brain to the utmost of God’s design. To state it plainly, Adam must have been brilliant.

Ok... maybe not brilliant.
Since Adam was created physically perfect his DNA must have been also perfect. DNA now in 2010 is imperfect. All someone has to do is look at all the genetic disorders to see that DNA is not what it used to be. We can hardly get people to live over a hundred now if they’re lucky. It is so badly degraded that if the population isn’t big enough or the distance in the family tree isn’t great enough birth defects start to appear. Today if you took two people and started a new population with their children and their children’s children after a few generations there would be some major genetic abnormalities. This was never the case in Adam’s time. Adam’s children ended up marrying their sisters and his grand children married their sisters or first cousins. Gross and disgusting, yes, but it worked.

Inbreeding... Just say NO.
According to Albert Einstein, circa 1920, the average person only uses around 10% of their brain and if they could use the other 90% “they could become savants who remember π to the twenty-thousandth decimal place.”  Now today many neurologists would disagree with Einstein as many believe today that we use all of our brain, but not at the same time. Of course these are the same scientists that brought us the grand Theory of Evolution so take it with a grain of salt.

This is photographic evidence that we are not evolving but in fact getting dumber.
So using simple math we can see that around 4000 BC to 4100 BC man’s brain was humming at full power and now, if we believe Einstein, we are only firing on 10% power. With that knowledge we can extrapolate the brain decline out and discover that at the earliest we could be down to 0% brain power by the year AD 2578.

How much brain power do you have left?
Now that is assuming we can still operate at anything lower than 5% brain power. I imagine that around that time we will lose the power to tie our shoes. At around 4% brain power we will be saying things like, “Ogg like rock” and “Me like girl.” When we get down to around 3% we may just be drooling on ourselves. I can’t imagine we will be able to breed after that, although if I know us men… we will figure it out.

Your brain in 200 years, "I'm givin' her all she got! She can't take no more!"
This means that my great, great, great, great, great, great grandchildren will be morons. So as I see it Jesus better come back within the next two hundred years or we may have deteriorated so much that there may not be anything to come back to.

10 comments:

  1. Wow Artie! You are right on the munny!
    Would this be called "Artie's theory of elephalutionitarianism"?
    Are you teaching this to your kids' 10%?

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  2. Oh...by the way. It wasn't me who clicked on how to confuse an idiot.

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  3. another way of putting the atheism quote: Theists have to explain evil, atheists have to explain everything else.

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  4. I totally clicked on the "How to Confuse and Idiot" clip the first time I saw it. LOL

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  5. Yah, I only clicked on it twice before I figured it out. :P

    I love the atheist quote - really explains a lot, eh?

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  6. I think the 4th photo could have the inbreading caption under it as well.

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  7. sorry if my english isn´t good, i´m from Argentina. Inbreeding is dangerous because it multiplies the defects of the individuals involved, so, if you say the first two humans were perfect your theory ends before it starts.

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  8. WoW! Adam did not come 4000 Before Christ, Egyptian pyramids are said to be built in 10,000 BC —Prehistoric Egypt: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prehistoric_Egypt

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  9. you are a fucking moron - do everyone a favour and remove this immediately.

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  10. biggest load of bullshit i've ever read.

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