Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Murder Interrogation

Unfortunately the only thing on television these days are “reality shows” and “cop dramas” so I usually find myself watching the latter as “reality shows” make my brain feel like it’s melting. In doing so I have found many things that irritate me about these shows. Let me tell you about one of these irritants.

"You cannot have a conversation about irritants with out me!"

Why is it that when the detectives come to question someone regarding a murder that person doesn’t even stop what they are doing as they talk to law enforcement? They, instead, keep on doing what ever they are doing while talking to the police as if a detective questioning them about a murder is an everyday occurrence.

I was watching Law & Order the other day and the two detectives walked into a local flower shop to question the owner regarding a murder. Murder mind you! So what does that owner do? She keeps putting flower arrangements together while she answers the questions of our two detectives.

As if I"m going to be fixing flowers with these two men interrogating me.
Yes, I said men.

Now, let me tell you that when a police detective walks into your place of employment and ask to question you regarding a murder, doing your job will not be on your mind. The only thing that goes through your brain, after you discover that you have soiled yourself, is the list of all the bad things you have done since the age of five. “They must have found out about the quarter I took from Mikey Nigrelli’s house when I was five!”

I may or may not have eaten the brownie, officer.

This is not just an isolated incident. This is the same scene that plays out in almost every single television show and movie I have ever seen that has a scene where a police officer or detective who goes to a place of employment to question someone. I challenge you to watch for it next time you see this scene in any “cop drama.”

Speaking of watching out... watch out for this news anchor.

Last night I was watching a French crime thriller called The Crimson Rivers and the detective goes to question an ophthalmologist regarding a murder. The doctor proceeds to change his clothes and restock some medical supplies while being questioned. Really? Because the last time I was talked to by a police detective I may or may not have recited the Pledge of Allegiance.

Those coppers will never find out my true identity!

Nothing about the task you were doing before the police walked in ever enters your mind when you are being questioned for murder. Trust me! I know! Wait… I’ve said too much… Where is the backspace key?

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