Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Long Ride Home

When I was in college I would return back home in the summer and volunteer my time at a summer camp every year as I did in high school. There was a young lady that also worked there that caught my eye but every summer I would admire her from a distance as she had a boyfriend. One summer in particular I returned home and lo and behold she was boyfriendless. Now was my chance!

The sad reality about kids today and summer camp.
I had gone over this moment in time a thousand times in my head over the years and I knew exactly what I was going to say. So I walked up to her and asked her out. Well, I think I did. I really couldn’t hear what I was saying due to the loud thumping coming from my chest up into my head. Eye witnesses later informed me that I sounded as if I had went through some kind of major oral surgery moments before as most of my words were unintelligible. Apparently unable to resist my charm, or quite possibly because of pity, she said yes.

I really should have used my old standbye.  It never fails.
I decided to double date with a friend from the camp as that would lend itself to better conversation and less awkward first date moments.  To tell you the truth I really cannot remember where we went for most of the date, as I have tried to block out most of the date which you will soon find out why, although I do remember that we ended up at a 24-hour restaurant for desert. As we were leaving the car my date said she was chilly so I opened the trunk and retrieved her jacket and put in on her shoulders. This action would prove to be the worst move in my dating career.

Chivalry is not dead yet. Just on life support.
As the four of us walked out of the restaurant and came close to my car I quickly noticed that I did not have my keys. I could feel the blood actually drain from my face as I simultaneously searched every pocked I had and let out a slow, “Noooooooooo……” All eyes were on me. I remember my friend had a look on his face that said, “How could you do this to me?!?” About that time was when it I remembered I put them in the trunk as I put on my date’s jacket for her. It was all her fault! Curse women and their delicate skin!

Another moment in my life where yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Luckily for all of us my friend’s date forgot to lock her door and we could wait in the car as the locksmith we called wouldn’t arrive for another two to three hours. Apparently others in the city had locked their keys in their trunks as well. The time dragged on as my first date conversation can only go on for so long before I start to run out of things to say.

This brings back memories.
After only two hours of awkward conversation the locksmith pulled up to the restaurant. As I opened my door and started to get out I looked down near my seat and noticed something that to this day I should never have told anyone. If I was a wise man I would have kept quiet, paid the locksmith to do his work and left. But I was not a wise man and before I could stop myself I let out, “The trunk release!”

Curse you hidden trunk release lever for making me look the fool!
It was a long ride home.

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