Hollywood oppresses my people at every turn. I can use the fingers on one hand to count how many bald or balding movie stars there have ever been who were not playing a dying cancer patient. Now after saying that there are plenty of character actors (supporting actors) that have out grown their hair because Hollywood seems to think my people make great bumbling fools for the lead actor to make fun of. Ever notice the guy in the commercials that doesn’t know that Brand A is better than Brand B inevitably will have less hair than the smart guy who does know?
|Pop Quiz: Guess which guy is the lead actor and which one is the goofy sidekick?|
The female population is another oppressive organization, although they rarely admit it. Look at the face of a woman immediately upon laying eyes on her balding blind date. It is quite funny. Well, as long as you're not the balding blind date guy. That guy will probably go cry himself to sleep as he holds a picture of Gerard Butler wondering why God cursed him. I once had a girl I was on a date with interrupt me in mid sentence to say, “Wow! You’re really starting to get thin up there!” Her phone must have been broken after that because she never answered when I called. She later married a man with full stalinesque hair who, within five years of getting married, proceeded to lose it all. I would be lying if I said I wasn't laughing maniacally as I wrote this.
|I often wonder how such a horrible man could have|
such a lush garden of hair.
|Way to go buddy. No one will every know.|
|I submit exhibit A.|