Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Agreement

There is an unwritten rule between man and dog; man leaves the window down so that dogs can stick their heads out of it and in return dogs do not jump out. This has been the rule for decades, since man first put windows on cars. It is quite possible that Henry Ford, himself, bartered this agreement with the canines. Allow me to share with you a story about this rule.

The historic agreement was sealed with a pawshake.
Pictured above from left to right: Lassie, Henry Ford.

I received a coupon for a $19.99 grooming in the mail and decided to bring my St. Bernard down there to take advantage of this offer. As I picked up Boyd, my dog, I was informed that my dog was so big that I had to pay an extra $10 for the grooming. This is odd because I didn’t read anywhere in the fine print of the coupon that the $19.99 only applied to average size dogs. Anyway, back to the story.

The proper position for a dog traveling in a car.

Like a good owner I loaded up Boyd into the back seat of the car, rolled down the windows so he could enjoy the cool breeze and drove off down the long dirt road the groomer lived on. At approximately fifty feet from the groomer’s house Boyd jumped out of the window and rolled four times before coming to a stop.

I slammed on the breaks and jumped out of the car only to see the dog standing there covered in dirt with a look on his face that said, “Why would you roll the window down so I could jump out? Was this some kind of trick?”

Of course it could have been an act of rebellion.

Now, you can ask my wife, I’m a rather calm and laid back guy. I rarely get upset and I keep my cool when all others loose theirs (I do work at 911), but at this moment in time, as I stood there holding my dog’s ears… I lost it. “We have an agreement! A simple understanding between man and dog! I roll down the window and you don’t jump out! It’s a binding contract!” I went on for what seemed like fifteen minutes as car after car drove by. I paced back and forth lecturing him on the proper back seat conduct of a canine and how he broke the trust I had placed in him. Boyd, on the other hand, just sat in the road and watched me with his tongue hanging out.

Is he done yet?  I have to lick myself.

As I drove home, with the windows rolled up, I remember thinking, “My dog, apparently, did not attend the particular canine meeting where that rule was discussed.” There was a lot of grumbling.

For those of you wondering to yourself if the dog was harmed at all the answer is no. He did walk in circles for a few days but for the most part he’s fine.


  1. And that, my friend, is one of the many, many, reasons why I have cats. :)

  2. They don't listen to you, but you don't really care...)