Happy 4th of July

So Cletus, a drunken imbecile, tries to impress his common law wife in a futile attempt to blow a 44oz beer can into the air with an M80 and ends up sending three fingers further into the air than the can. This is what I like to call “putting chlorine into the gene pool.” If a person is not smart enough to be responsible with something like fireworks and gets hurt then it is their own fault? Raise your nub if you disagree.

Hey ma! Come over here and watch me light this!

I am a firm believer that society should not craft laws restricting an entire population from a certain form of entertainment because a few people are not smart enough to keep their noses attached to their faces. The city I work in does not allow any firework at all. Not even sparklers… because apparently too many people have sparkled themselves to death.

Look at all the fun that isn't happening in Spokane, WA.

Even when I was a young pip I knew the dangers of using these things. We would light off firecrackers with the neighborhood kids and we all knew if you held the firecracker in your hands and lit it before you tossed it, you ran the risk of missing fingers. Of course that didn’t stop my brother from doing it.

See, my brother and I were very responsible.

I have to admit that the laws do cut down on firework related injuries dramatically, mostly due to the fact that ignoramuses are not allowed to play with them. That being said I think people should have the choice to use them or not. If they get hurt… well that’s the risk you take when playing with a small explosive device while standing on your head while drinking out of a beer bong.

Don't give this girl fireworks.