The Pool Party I Don't Remember

Almost every person alive over the age of 21 has tasted alcohol. Some are responsible with the controversial substance and will drink in moderation while others have never heard of that concept and drink until they are French kissing the toilet. Let me tell you about the second, and last, time I was drunk… I was 4 years old. I will tell you the first occasion another time.

Ah, the good ol' days.

My parents had taken my brother and myself to their friend’s house for a summer barbeque. We always loved going over to their house because they had a pool and, as we all know, a pool is a kid magnet. I have many memories of that pool; unfortunately most of them involve me urinating in said pool.

As the afternoon turned to evening everyone started to migrate inside to digest and talk about disco, or what ever adults talked about in the 70s. I, on the other hand, decided to go back outside and look at the pool. Where were my parents here?!?

They had some great clothes back then.

While I was out admiring the pool and wondering why I was not in it, I apparently got thirsty. I say apparently because I do not remember any of this due to the whole being drunk thing. This is the moment where I noticed there were glasses partially filled with many varieties of alcohol left around the pool. Needless to say I got to work.

My brother and myself enjoying a few cold ones.

It was my brother that first noticed something was amiss with my behavior. My parents noticed him standing at the sliding glass door giggling while he watched me. What was I doing you may be asking? I was running around in circles naked until I fell over onto my back where I would watch the clouds. Then I would get back up and start the running in circles again. The cycle was interrupted by a group of adults huddling around me smelling my breath.

I was a lush back then.

Now a days I have matured enough where I do not drink alcohol to the point of excess. At the age of 4 you cannot expect me to have that kind of willpower. Of course my wife still gets upset at me when I run around naked in the back yard until I fall over and watch the clouds. She made me put up a fence.

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